The First Date…

Being single again is a new and challenging experience I really don’t think any amount of time could have prepared me for. As I have said before dating in your 40s is a totally different monster than when you are in your 20s. So, I dipped my toe in the waters and I found them to be incredibly cold, shallow, and extremely arrogant.

One of the perks (if you can call them that) of being a Marketing Director for a thriving company in a new city is that you get to meet new people…lots and lots of new people. And when a gentleman (and I’m using that term graciously) asked me to join him for lunch on Saturday afternoon to ‘get to know each other a little better’, I had run out of excuses to say no. After all, it was his third invitation and I’d given him some really bad, but true excuses twice before.

Let me start by saying that this man looked perfect on paper…and on paper was the only place he was perfect. His resume stated he’s a physician, 35 years old, never been married, no kids, crystal blue eyes, a little over six feet tall, dark almost black hair with little darling waves and for crying out loud, he even had the freaking dimples. I couldn’t have written a more attractive man in one of my book series. But that was all he was…good on paper.

Bad Date

He insisted we meet at his favorite casual place, the Old Spaghetti Factory (a place I cannot eat anything because I’m allergic) at noon. Safe enough, we drove separately, two people who cross paths in business having lunch in a very public place. No biggie. What could go wrong, right? HA!

I changed clothes four times, fussed with my hair until I was almost in tears, and was so nervous I spilt coffee on the shirt I had finally decided on wearing and had to start the process all over again. I left the house ten minutes later than I intended and arrived at the restaurant right at noon.

He was waiting for me on the patio and waved as I approached. He looked stunning in his cornflower blue shirt, jeans and brown casual shoes. I held out my hand to shake his (as we normally do during our business interactions), he laughed at me and pulled me into a full embrace.

We sat down, he ordered and I had an iced tea. That was the most pleasant part of the ‘date’. From that moment on I could have sworn that I was on candid camera or some wicked reality show. No one could possibly be so rude, arrogant, and callus…How in the world was this man a doctor?

Not only did he talk excessively about his previous girlfriends and the women he dates frequently, he freely admitted he’d never had a relationship that lasted longer than three months because no woman has been able to keep him interested in her ‘long term’. Then, he went even further by saying he’d never had children because they were dirty, smelly, creatures he didn’t want to be electively be around until they reached the age of five…AND he concluded by telling me how great he was and how women chased him all the time.

I said very little (mainly because he wouldn’t shut up long enough for me to add two cents to the conversation) and sipped my iced tea debating whether or not I’d be arrested if I slapped him across the face. Then he finally asked me if I had children. I told him yes and how old they are. He actually snorted in his drink and remarked that all my children were ‘millennials’ and how they were part of the most worthless, useless, freeloading generation that expects everything handed to them without ever having to work a day in their lives.

I put my drink down and informed him that he was vastly overgeneralizing and that every generation has its share of individuals like that. Then I told him that my son was preparing to be deployed for his second tour in the Middle East and was going to spent his second holiday season and birthday half a world away from his wife, family, and friends so that narrow minded assholes such as he could have the right to sit there and make such ignorant comments.

Men from Mars

And with that I got up, told him thank you for the iced tea but I really did not see the point in staying, and walked out of the restaurant!

But apparently that was not enough of an exit for him or perhaps he was having difficulty comprehending rejection because he flooded my phone with text messages on Sunday saying he’d had a really nice time, he was sorry I had to leave early, he thought I was beautiful and smart, and wanted to know when we could get together again!! And if that wasn’t bad enough he sent me a couple selfies…and then the ultimate selfie of his…um…junk!!!

FYI Men…Women DO NOT think that’s SEXY!!!! DON’T DO IT!!!

I not only deleted his messages but had to block him in my phone. Never in all my life have I ever encountered such a man with that amount of arrogance. If that is what is available out there, I’m going to be single for the rest of my life!!!

Lucky for me I have to see him today for a business meeting. It might be time to start looking for a new job!!

renewing my vows