As we finally close the door on 2015 and bolt it shut, I will always remember it as one of the most trying and glorious years of my life.
In 2015 I …
~completed and released the final book in my first series.
~moved to Arizona.
~went in debt from divorce attorney bills & accomplished nothing in the process.
~gained my freedom.
~started a new career.
~got my business off the ground.
~forged some amazing new friendships.
~learned some hard lessons.
~endured three incredibly long road trips.
~learned how to navigate a new city without using my GPS.
~had the best holiday season in over a decade.
~realized who my true friends are.
~and most importantly it was the year I became a grandma for the first time!
However in 2015 I also …
~broke off some hurtful & harmful relationships.
~learned the true character of some people I’d known all my life.
~walked away from everything I had ever known or possessed in my life.
~dug the knife out of my back, wiped my hands clean & started over.
~was truly disappointed in some people & elated with others.
~realized how greedy, selfish, & cruel people who claim to love you can be.
2015 was full of ups and downs for me. It also forced me to remember how strong I am and that I can stand on my own two feet. That was something I’d lost a long time ago and to be honest I missed it. For the last several years I was so miserable I had forgotten how to be happy and what happiness felt like. All I can remember is the feeling of being suffocated, and drowning without a life preserver. I am truly upset that I had allowed myself to be beaten down, made to feel worthless, and for staying in such a miserable state for as long as I did.
Upon escaping my wretched bonds I realized I do have worth, I do contribute something to this world, and that I do deserve to be happy. And for the first time since 2001, I am. For me, that means everything. I no longer have someone whispering negativity in my ear filling me with self-doubt or trying to pass off all my accomplishments as their own and constantly assuring me and everyone else in my world that I never would have succeeded if it hadn’t been for their so-called guiding hand and loving support. I realize now that I did it all on my own. I am the one who took every test in college. I am the one who poured my heart and soul into my studies. I am the one who sent out countless query letters once Essence was written, endured the heartbreak with every rejection letter and felt the unimaginable joy that followed with that offer for publication. I am the one who wrote every word of each book I’ve published. I put in the long hours of research of every facet of my storylines. And I refuse to sit back any longer and let someone else take the praise for my hard work. The two dreams I held in the inner recesses of my heart were to someday graduate from college with high honors and to be a published author.
And I accomplished both … ON MY OWN!!!!
So as 2016 gets underway I am feeling refreshed, breathing easier, and enjoying life. I am eating healthy, exercising more, and feeling more like my old self once again. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders, the shackles finally removed, and I can run free … free to laugh, free to sing (even if it is off key), and free to excel in my professional life on my own merits. The future is now mine to make it anything I wish it to be. And most importantly, I am living in the present and loving life!