Dysfunctional Chaos

The Players:
~The writer
~Two teenage daughters
~one recent HS graduate getting ready to start college in the fall
~one going into her senior year
~Stinky: 8 yr old black lab
~Ed: 4 yr old Rottweiler
~DaVinci: 3 yr old miniature American Eskimo Spitz
~Chubbies: 10 yr old cat, 30 lbs of bad attitude
~The husband: with the maturity level of a 12 yr old on his best day
~The extras: hordes of friends belonging to our daughters. I’m sure if they actually have other homes or if they are renters who simply don’t pay to live here but won’t leave either

All under one roof…what could possibly go wrong?

At any given time
~the sound of a dog tearing down the stairs and a cat hissing, Stinky is chasing Chubbies
~DaVinci chewing on Ed’s hind legs, Ed growls and flashes teeth, DaVinci rises to hind legs and pounces forward completely freaking Ed out
~music leaking through the ceiling from my college bound daughter’s room upstairs
~the husband tormenting or pranking the new HS senior until she lashes back and I have to scold the husband for behaving like a child
~the extras are playing on the X-Box, watching movies, taking up space and eating every morsel of food in the kitchen

Life in my house is never dull…it is honestly amazing that I have enough marbles left rattling around in my head to put string together enough words to form a sentence let alone write several novels. Our dysfunctional household runs solely on chaos and disorder.

Although we are living in a vinyl village in middle America, we are anything but typical, anything but normal. The revolving door on our house gives welcome to anyone who dares to enter. My family is a barrage of entertainment, humor, and sarcasm. Those who are sensitive or take life seriously, please don’t bother coming over because I’m positive you will be insulted.

Our house works on the old adage of ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, come sit by me’. My children are quick-witted and full of sarcastic charm…my son is dripping with it. I hate to admit they all get it honestly. We have never been known to hold the punches and are constantly playing pranks on each other.

All in good fun. We are an eccentric bunch and loving every minute of it. Life is short, so good times should be exploited to their fullest. Being like everyone else is boring. And even worse than that is being ordinary. Ordinary is death.

So, kick back, relax, have some fun, and enjoy today.

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